WEINERGATE

_______ quit drinking and is translating his unattended-to psychological burning into unfettered sex obsession. Last night, before, during and after dinner, he referred to his penis approximately 548 times, in contexts I did not even know could exist, including the moment when, as I was biting into my tender sauteed broccolini, he began describing the physical limitations and benefits of being fully uncircumsized. Note: before last night, I had previously met him one time. My man-friend pointed out his topical fixation and timed him and he miraculously went a whole 14 or so minutes without mentioning his wang. Which goes to show addiction is an animorph until you plunge a stake through the heart of it.