Monthly Archives: May 2007

LIFE LESSONS 2

“All right, listen up. I am supposed to give you some fatherly and wise advice at this time in your life. Listen up. If you’re wondering if a boy’s thinking about you, he’s not. He’s thinking about sex or if … Continue reading

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LIFE LESSONS

“You know, the Riggins boys came over for dinner the other night. You an Tim, you still best friends, aintcha?” “I guess so.” “You guess so. Well the parents did a number on those kids, that’s for sure.” “Well, uh. … Continue reading

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“This is an arranged marriage.”

Friday Night Lights. Two boys whose critical opinions I esteem highly, who know about these things and like them for the right reasons, they have been tryna convert me to this show for a year. My general response: “I don’t … Continue reading

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LILA GARRITY: SOLILOQUY

“I don’t know how to talk to you when you’re like this. I mean, God! It’s not even seven o’ clock and you can barely stand. You can blame me if you want, Tim. You can blame the whole world … Continue reading

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JASON STREET’S TEETH

I have never seen a set so straight, so clean. Jason Street, You are a good man. I’m sorry it’s medically dangerous for you to evacuate [sic]. Why the hell am I weeping over a two-point conversion? What the hell … Continue reading

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A LANGUAGE OF CONVENIENCE

“At various times, the [Japanese] masses were denied everything: soba, sugar, tea, rice. When meat was outlawed, the eating of deer was justified by referring to the creatures by the magical euphemism ‘mountain whales.’” (The above-linked five-page spread in the … Continue reading

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SO SO DEF SNEAKIN ‘ROUND

I was wondering what Jermaine Dupri got Janet for her birthday (my birthday) and lo! GOT THIS ON THE MYSPACE BBS:

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NYC-BCN

Once and former Barcelonans: is there a craigslist-style thing for the city? for flat swaps / permanent housing? jawnita@gmail.com is calling.

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MAMA MIA

Whatever cable channel I’m watching just aired some Mother’s Day bit about Blythe Danner, glorious mother to Gwyneth Paltrow, and how she passed on her genetic ability to look simultaneously demure and fragile in a ball gown or some shit. … Continue reading

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ROUND AND ROUND LIKE TEVIN CAMPBELL

Sean posted this thing I made, but I would be remiss if I didn’t credit William Guillermo del Creeley aka “Caps-from-the-hours-of-6-8” for nicely telling me about this thing in which it could be made, which will definitely occupy my life … Continue reading

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