March 2006 Archives
Here in y'old Viacom Towneship, I thought the only people who knew my inside work line were Marisa, Jessica and Joey. But sometimes the little red light on my phone glows red, even though i have only been here two weeks, and when I check my voicemail, it is full of messages from people like Tori Spelling and William Shatner, just calling to holler and remind me to watch their programs. I mean, can they just give out my number like that to people I don't know? Isn't it company policy to protect all personal information from unknown parties? I know I practically grew up with her (much love to you josh k.), but do I really need to get a weekend what's up from Donna Martin?
Jessica and I spent the entire month of November '05 investigative-journalisming the alleged exploitation of workers/women at Suicide Girls dot com--interviewing models, lawyers, professors, owners, defendants; racking up BANUTZ phone bills and alienating practically everyone else in our lives because of our single-minded focus on an issue about which we both cared very deeply. As such, we were pretty fucking proud of the final piece published in Spin's February issue, assigned to us by former EIC Sia Michel at the behest of former editor Caryn Ganz; it was a full six pages of reportage and possibly the most serious, objective, feminist piece of newsjournalism either of us had ever produced, for what was then America's only mainstream rock magazine edited by a woman (Spin's then-sister publication, Vibe, was one of two mainstream music mags edited by women [I want to count XLR8R as mainstream and make it a tirumvirate, but their circulation is like 1/16th the circulation of Spin).
The revamped Spin introduced a new feature today, and "each month she will be lending Spin readers a helping hand with the stickiest of problems."
hey shawty
is the sound of melt
this morning, before the jog, it is helen chadwick! eroticism starts here.
the week has pulled upwards, reluctantly, monday's sting and haze cleared away by the block boys tossing rowrs and "sup gorgeous"es for the first time since last frost--hey shaawwwty--and now the warmth, beckoning. it seems right to emerge.
HI! Before I forget: don't forget to come holler at me & Marisa & Kara and Farai Chideya (!) et al at the Center for New Words' Women, Action and Media Conference: Making Noise, Making Change at MIT in Cambridge! Marisa and the ILLUSTRIOUS Rebecca Davis and I will be on the Beyond Bust and Bitch: Feminists in the Mainstream Media. I think I will be addressing such topics as: how the pre-sale Spin was one of the most feminist-friendly publications I've ever worked for (word life to Pappademas, Michel, Aaron, Dolan, Ganz and Maerz), and when you are not a white man and you write about issues/critique art pertinent to non-white non-men, you can sometimes be perceived as "Having A Bias." Or maybe we'll just wing it. I'm very excited for this conference, and extraordinarily proud to be a part of it--really looking forward to all the other panels, particularly:
Covering Women and War
Beyond Security Moms: Getting Women Heard in Midterm Election Coverage
Radical Words: Intersections Between Activism and Publishing
Women, Work & Wages: Covering Poverty, Discrimination and Women's Work in America
More Than Shadows and Whispers: Hip Hop Feminists Battle Sexism, Harassment, and Violence
OBVIOUSLY YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT
Dear Ms. Julianne Escobedo Shepherd:
Thank you for sharing with me your concerns regarding the crisis in immigration that our nation faces. I have heard from many of my New York constituents on this important topic.
Enclosed is my most recent statement on immigration reform. I hope that you will read the statement in its entirety as this is a complex issue for which there are no simple solutions.
Please know that the thoughts and concerns of my constituents are very important to me and I send my thanks that you took the time to write. For updates on this and the many important issues being considered by the United States Senate, please check my website ate http://clinton.senate.gov.
S TATEMENT OF SENATOR HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON ON COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION REFORM
March 8, 2006
Immigration is the lifeblood of America , a bedrock value tied to our founding and one that constantly renews the greatness of our country. America is and will always be a home for people who are willing to put in the hard work to create a better life for themselves and their families.
Our immigration system is in crisis. It is estimated that we have over 11 million undocumented immigrants in the United States , 1.7 million of whom are children. Our current laws fail by not providing adequately for our national security. Also as a result of our broken system, many families are forced apart, unable to reunite with their spouses, parents, children, and siblings because of a shortage of visas. Our current system allows unscrupulous employers to skirt our laws and exploit undocumented workers in the name of cheap labor . As a consequence of our broken immigration system, there is a huge drain on our state social services, including financial strains on our local and state law enforcement. The situation leaves us with a lot of tough choices. We have a system that is broken and we have to find practical but fair solutions to fix it.
I neither support illegal immigration nor the enactment of fruitless schemes that would penalize churches and hospitals for helping the truly needy. That will not fix the mess we are in.
I support comprehensive immigration reform.
That reform has to be based on:
Strengthening our borders to make us safer from the threat of terrorism and using new technology to help our Border Patrol agents be more effective;
Greater cross-border co-operation with our neighbors, especially Mexico , to solve the problem of illegal immigration;
[ED NOTE: PLS BE MORE SPECIFIC]
New enforcement laws that are both strict and fair;
Harsh penalties for those who exploit undocumented workers;
A fairer process for people seeking to come to America , especially for those whose families have been torn apart;
A path to earned citizenship for those who are here, working hard, paying taxes, respecting the law, and willing to meet a high bar for becoming a citizen.
So I will support plans that meet these principles, and I will oppose one-sided solutions that simply sound tough but do little to deal with either our porous borders or the millions of families who live here.
Here is my reasoning.
A Nation of Immigrants and Laws
Ours is a nation of immigrants. Our national identity and heritage - who we are as Americans - is shaped by our commitment to welcoming people of diverse backgrounds who come to our shores to pursue better lives for themselves and their families. We are rightfully proud of this commitment, and we are made better by those who come here to pursue the American Dream. There is no better example of our nation's rich cultural heritage and diversity than New York , and its prosperity is a testament to how our country is enriched by the contributions of immigrants. When our forefathers created this nation, they envisioned a "land of opportunity," and we must never show contempt or disdain for that vision.
But ours is also a nation of laws. It is our respect for the rule of law that distinguishes the United States from many other nations and is no doubt one of the reasons people from around the world yearn to come here. Our notions of justice and fairness are revered, and it is often the pursuit of that justice that brings immigrants to our country. We betray our ideals when our laws cease to reflect these values.
There are many competing voices in the immigration debate, and because our national heritage is at its heart a story of immigrants, it is often a passionate and emotional one. But as we move forward and undertake the thoughtful reform of our immigration laws, we must continue to embrace our uniquely American values of being a nation that is both welcoming to immigrants but also respectful of the law.
Strengthening Our Borders
Smart reform must have as an essential component a plan to strengthen our northern and southern borders. It is unconscionable to think that in a post-9/11 world we do not know precisely who is entering and exiting our country. Our homeland security requires that we know the identities of all people who cross our borders. In reforming our broken system, our efforts must be multifaceted and comprehensive. During my tenure in the Senate, I have supported efforts to increase exponentially the number of Border Patrol agents. By the end of this year, the ranks of our Border Patrol will have increased by 3,000 agents since 2001, a 30% increase. But the problem is not simply one of manpower. We also need to deploy new technology that can help our Border Patrol agents be more effective in stopping the thousands of undocumented immigrants who enter the country each day. Employing new surveillance equipment - like detection ! sensors, unmanned drones, and infrared cameras - can assist in this important work. This includes stopping the deplorable and tragic practice of human smuggling that preys on the undocumented.
We must also demand that our neighbors do their part. In particular, we must have a willing partner in Mexico if we are going to stem the tide of illegal immigration into the United States . Mexico needs to be more fully engaged in this effort if we are going fix our immigration system. We must also work together to ensure that our shared, 2,000-mile-long border with Mexico and 5,000-mile border with Canada do not become gateways into the United States for terrorists. That means improving the ways in which we share intelligence and information with our neighbors.
If we can succeed in securing our borders, the Department of Homeland Security will be freed to focus its resources and energies on other credible threats against our homeland.
The Need for New Enforcement Laws
Of course, enforcement of our immigration laws cannot start and stop at the border. We need an effective interior enforcement plan as well. In reforming our laws, we must enact strict and enforceable laws that are simultaneously effective and rationally-based. They can be neither rooted in prejudice nor play to peoples' fears. In this vein, I oppose proposals - like the Sensenbrenner Bill (H.R.4437) - that target and criminalize the undocumented and punish those who would provide them with humanitarian assistance.
Among other things, our laws must go after unscrupulous employers who skirt our laws and exploit these workers in the pursuit of cheap labor. Our American values dictate that all people who put in a hard day's work should receive a prevailing wage and have a safe workplace in which to work. We must honor that.
Regrettably in this struggle against illegal immigration, we have abandoned our state and local governments, leaving them to bear the burden and the cost of our failed national immigration policies. Unchecked illegal immigration strains our schools, hospitals, and local emergency services. And while the vast majority of undocumented people do not engage in criminal activity, there are those who do, putting an incredible strain on our local law enforcement agencies. For too long we have left our state and local governments to fend for themselves in this effort. They should not be made to bear this burden alone. They need the support of the federal government in dealing with illegal immigration.
Of course, our goal of comprehensive immigration reform can not be achieved by simply patching up our porous borders and promoting increased law enforcement. Smart reform that is consistent with our values also requires that we find a way to couple an orderly and legal immigration system with a policy committed to keeping families together and treating all immigrants with dignity. Our laws can be both strict and fair. We should not unduly punish the overwhelming majority of immigrants who work hard, raise families, pay their taxes, and contribute to their communities.
Preserving the Sanctity of the Family
Although we as Americans believe strongly in the sanctity of the family, our immigration laws do not reflect this value. Growing visa backlogs often prevent legal immigrants and United States citizens from uniting with their loved ones, keeping families separated for years and in the worst cases, tearing them apart. As these family visa backlogs swell, a growing number of families find themselves having to make a difficult choice - remain separated from their loved ones for years or encourage their family members to enter the country illegally so that they can be together. To be clear, these backlogs do not just affect immigrant families - they also affect American citizens who have family members living in other countries who are also caught in this bottleneck. Any reasonable immigration reform proposal must offer relief to those would-be immigrants who have tried to play by the rules by obtaining a family visa, but who have nonetheless been unable to reunite with their spouses, parents, children, and siblings because of a shortage of visas.
The Undocumented and an Earned Path to Legal Status
One of the consequences of our dysfunctional immigration system has been the creation of a growing underclass made up of undocumented people. Estimates have the number of undocumented in our country at approximately 11 million people, a number that grows by the thousands each day. They are here illegally because our current system permits it. Both the undocumented and the United States are complicit in this. But we cannot continue to ignore the problem. No one benefits from the current system. The undocumented are made to live in constant fear of persecution, too afraid to come forward when they are sick or in need of help. Conversely, our national security is imperiled because we have an enormous population of people we know nothing about. It is not enough that we simply know who is entering and exiting the country; we also need to identify who is already here. Our homeland security demands it.
Therefore, we must develop a system that gets the undocumented to come out of the shadows. There is not a single approach that can fix this crisis. The suggestion that enacting stricter and more enforceable deportation laws alone can solve this problem ignores reality. This will only force the undocumented deeper underground. New laws, which are both strict and fair, are certainly part of the answer, but we also need a worker program that encourages undocumented workers to come forward and identify themselves. While I categorically oppose any program that grants unconditional amnesty for illegal immigration, I do support providing undocumented workers with the opportunity to earn legal status in this country. For those who work hard, pay their taxes, continue to obey the law, and demonstrate a commitment to this country, the opportunity to eventually earn citizenship should also be available. A program such as this is not a free ride, and it certainly is not for everyone. Legal status must be earned, as it was by previous generations of immigrants who became citizens through perseverance and hard work.
Respecting Our Heritage and Providing for Our Homeland Security
Balancing all of these interests is not easy, but I am committed to working with my colleagues to create a comprehensive system that respects both the rule of law and our immigrant heritage and American values. As is etched on the Statue of Liberty, we must continue to welcome to our shores those who "yearn to breathe free." But we must do so with an eye towards adopting new policies that encourage orderly, safe, and legal immigration that take into account the needs of our national security.
Sincerely yours,
Hillary Rodham Clinton
T.I.'s KING IS A FUCKING MONSTER
more after i pick my face up off the floor
Dear BlueLatinos.org members,
Immigrant America is rising and fighting back the anti-immigrant hysteria that is rolling through the country like a thick, deadly fog. This past week over a million people marched in cities all across America demanding respect for workers, justice for immigrants, and honor for America's values.
Now we need to channel that same energy and get our elected representatives to stop ignoring our message: NO to H.R. 4437 and YES to S. 1033. We need to march right into their offices and demand that they fix the broken immigration system by enacting the McCain/Kennedy bill.
Now is the time to stand up and be heard.
http://www.bluelatinos.org/congress
Make no mistake; anti-immigrant groups are wasting no time calling their Senators, flooding them with hate-filled messages to scare them into paralyzes. We must do more. We must burn our Senator's phone lines with messages of hope and justice. Call your Senators today and leave them this simple message:
"Hi my name is _____ and I live in _____. I'm calling to ask Senator ______ to vote against Senator Bill Frist's immigration bill, and support Senators McCain's and Kennedy's comprehensive immigration bill, S. 1033. Our country needs a complete overhaul of our sadly broken immigration system. Thank you."
Your call will help save America from the hate-driven anti-immigrant lobby that wants to wall-up our country, take babies their birthright, and deport millions of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters. Indeed, they want nothing short of deporting us all.
Don't let them have the last word. Do your part. Call your Senators today. If you have called your Senators, call them again. And after you call them today, make sure to call them again and again throughout this week. They must hear from us - repeatedly. Let's burn their phone lines with our calls for a just and honest immigration reform.
http://www.bluelatinos.org/congress
Juntos Si Podemos!
In solidarity,
José Quiñonez, BlueLatinos.org
P.S. Email us with information regarding your community's efforts to fight HR 4437. We'll post it on BlueLatinos.org website so that others in your community can participate. Don't know of any protest in your area? Organize one yourself. It only takes two people standing outside a Senator's office - one holding a protest sign and another to take a picture! Let us know how we can help.
My awesome cousin Brian, photographer (NYC: holler at a headshot), is now in the blogiverse. Funny Quotes! Photos! Pithy commentary! As Aunt Josie sez, we Escobedos have such good genes.
Was that disjointed? I don't know. In case you didn't see the hot air balloon of my face and the word "Updates" flying over your hood, I am like, working now. From an office. I have a stunning view of a Dana Buchman billboard (please check me if i start rocking lavender trenchcoats) and can gaze upon the vibrant gleam of the empire state building any time I like. but this also means that at 6 pm, all faculties are gone and the 14 yr old inside me has wrestled out of her leash. And then I start objectifying T.I. in anticipation of what in actuality looks like a pretty terrific film, cinematically and plot-wise, but I have no control over my commentary because the sun is setting on times square, i have consumed literally four or five litres of Poland Spring, and am doing a search in the company system for the term "bacon" (not mine) while trying to sound lucid expounding upon the long career of Jermaine Dupri. Where am I? *WHO* am I? I get the feeling if I go see V for Vendetta, perhaps the answers will become clear.
MOJOhelmina, queen of our couch, sends a little gem. To this I say, "SOUTER IS KILLING IT IN THE GAME."
her response:
"souter IS the gamez!!@SZAF!!"
MO: RULING L'ECOLE
also.. advance word on the street sez ATL the movie is, quote unquote, "FUCKING FANTASTIC." Though he's a TI fan, this is a missive from my friend who presumably worships "cinematography" and "plot" over our man's bodacious and sultry swagger. And yet, I feel compelled to add the following... I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE TI EMBLAZONED ACROSS A MOVIE SCREEN, GAZING OUT FROM THE CELLULOID LANDSCAPE WITH THOSE MYTHICAL EYES AINT SCURRED, INDEED.
that is the sound of me rubbing my eyes on my glasses, tryna see if i got bugs cluttering up the windshield. "WHAT'S THIS?" I ask. "A Brit magazine by and about Women in Hip-Hop that is completely downloadable via the internet? Rendered in fanzine- and J-Pop mag influenced design?" Comes complete with Apani B Fly Emcee (!!!) paean, excellent Women in Reggae feature, chica sneaker freak spread (all love for the Blazer mid), also an album review of Destiny's Child's "Cater 2 U" that consists mostly of the lyrics reprinted and a "WTF?!" icon in bubble-letter font. Ladies who are making this magazine, you are thee best. Not loco-loco about "we aint' feminists" declaration, but actions speak louder than words.
Have I told you about my weekend yet? Firstly, I misunderstood Mo's concept for "Google Me This," at NYUFF. I thought it was a presentation of internerd-curated videos, and had this whole concept/performance planned about nationalized health care and feminism and irritible bowel syndrome, and how very little research has gone into IBS in spite or because of it affecting 30% of women, and the interdependency between the neurons and the intestines... BUT FUNNY. When I got there, however, Mo and Kevin had set up a gameshow-like speed round, pitting googlemethisers against each other, leaving it to audience applause to determine which contestant would make it to the final round. The winner would recieve a trip to Aruba. Kyle, who resembles Pat Sajak but was wearing a Liberace pompadour, hosted. My initial video, "the feminist right to objectification as seen in an advert for an upstate NY gym chain," lost to a video of Patrick Stewart-as-Jean-Luc-Picard doing a softshoe. My friends told me it was a close round.
The winning video was, of course, KENDRA LEVIN, Scholastic Inc. Excellence Award Recipient, with Car Stuck Girls, a site for those harboring an obscure (I think) fetish for women whose automobiles get stuck in mud and snow, and who always "just happen" to be wearing cut-out bodysuits and stillettos!, despite the fact that they are four-wheeling in the Mojave Desert. Classic line: "Oh! My Versace Boot! What a shame." May be my next tattoo, in Lucinda handwriting script, from shoulderblade to shoulderblade.
Personal favorite of the weekend was Michael Bell-Smith, who killed not just with his videos (click NASA Robot & Ballerina & BOUNDARY CHAOS), but also intrigued with his short "Chapters 1-12 of Trapped in the Closet Synced and Played Simultaneously" which morphs the R KELLY'S MIND into one jumbled offering of genius plate. TALK ABOUT BOUND'RY CHAOS
WORD LIFE to isaac hayes--i have increasingly little patience for irony/parody that is so cruel and insensitive (I.e., I am officially boycotting gawker dot com after their fucking untenable mocking of Cindy Sheehan's fashion/weight... it's just like, "Yeah, jessica and jesse? call me after you've lost a son in an unjust war, then mustered the strength to dedicate your life to speaking out against it, in order to make sense of his death, that he didn't die in vain. So, call me after that happens and tell me if you still give a shit about khaki pants.")
anyway, here's the press release:
ISAAC HAYES REQUESTS RELEASE FROM “SOUTH PARK”
Legendary soul man Isaac Hayes has officially requested a release from his contract with the “South Park” television show, and the Comedy Central cable station. Mr. Hayes has been a cast member of “South Park” since 1997 as the voice of “CHEF”.
Mr. Hayes has decided to part ways with “South Park” because of recent episodes and press that have embarked upon what he feels are inappropriate ridicule of religious communities. While fully acknowledging “South Park’s” right to freedom of speech, Mr. Hayes is disappointed with what he perceives as a growing insensitivity towards personal spiritual beliefs, not only with “South Park” episodes but also the recent Danish cartoon controversy.
“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins.” Mr. Hayes adds, “religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.”
dear cascadia, the new KELIS VIDEO was shot in Seattle! You can totally see the blue spaceship Frank O Gehry EMP building, and that round building w/the lights, too. PS how dudical is her "Mrs. Jones" chain and pastel Paul Wall grill w/necktie and camo hoodie? Our girl is definitely running the show.
Question: Is Ghosttown DJs' "My Boo" the best song ever?!
CONGRATULATIONS TO MIZ MOJO FOR DOING IT BIG! And as for NY Underground Film Fext, do not miss Valley Girl tomorrow at 9:45 pm... nope, not the original.. it's Valley Girl 2006, reenacted, verbatim, in deconstructionist stylee, by artists living in the modern-day Valley. Mo's been talking up this one for weeks, and I LOVE the original Valley Girl, which starred a young, pre-bonkers Nic Cage as a lovelorn Punk Rocker from around the way... around the way like RESEDA or some other neighborhood where high-school department store freaks would never be caught dead in their Sperry Topsiders and Dippity-Do. (When I am an adjunct professor, my course will be entitled "Everything but the Gel: Class issues Revealed in Semi-Popular Teen Films of the '80s and '90s." Will you take it?)
So anyway, I am psyched. I used to have a VHS copy of the original Valley Girl, but my dad accidentally overdubbed it with a Broncos game back in 1984-ish, a fact which I discovered in early 1985, while trying to screen the film for my half-brother, shortly after subjecting him and his girlfriend to an hourlong Barbie (TM) fashion show. Also, the original Valley Girl was the first time I heard SPARKS, the band, not the bodega crack. In case you are wondering, Eaten by the Monster of Love is the truth. In the film it soundtracked Valley kid/grocery delivery boy SKIP'S poolside-to-showerhead love affair with his girlfriend's mom, a bourgeois divorcee who predated The O.C.'s Julie Cooper.
Also, don't miss Google Me This, Saturday at 7:45 pm---it is a very intriguing program of performance art and live-action google-videoing, wherein "two bakers' dozen of underground WWWunderkinds will be dunked headfirst into the Google Video reserve, to emerge with some unbelievable shit fit or not-fit-for public screening." Hmm....some of those presenting WWWunderkinds include Michael Bell Smith (he of my favorite movie of 2005, "Trapped in the Closet All at Once"), Kendra Levin, Cory Arcangel (he of Cory Arcangel), Nellie Killian, and oh, I dunno, YOURS FUCKING TRULY!!! Mais oui! I will be there, deep-crate google-videoing that esoterica like it's NOT WHAT I DO ALL DAY LONG.
Finally, like most people in America, I lack health insurance. Did you ever notice Hillary Clinton's harpooned health plan happened to coincide with the mainstreaming of the World Wide Interweb? I'm pretty sure the justification was, "Who needs doctors when we have the internet?" I was able to test this uniquely Darwinian logic this week, when the aforementioned Google (TM) helped me to diagnose my own severe gastrointestinal disorder. Just call me MISSUS Lower Intestine, thank you very much. So I think I am trying to go dairy-free/macrobiotic for awhile... if you have tried this and have any advice / recipes that do not taste like loaves of hand-woven cardboard, I would appreciate it. Minimal lentils, please. Also? Digestive yoga poses? Anyone?
And, perhaps most of all, RIP.
NEYO + STEP SHOW + SAVED THE LAST DANCE II
now if Omari and Marques would just get on You Got Served II
Get paired up with date for NY Underground Film Festival, win Jewish themed beer. "JEWBILATION!"
I mean, wow.
Per Ms. Marisa, Megan O'Rourke on sociologists screwing the pooch. Would seem to be a worthy contender for Team Dowd, except for O'Rourke's attempt at judiciousness in the final grafs. Bum fucking title, though. Kicker, too. Additionally, the caveat revealed in paragraph two negates everything, for me: "Based on Surveys conducted between 1992 and 1994." 1992, as you know, was a HUGE social turning point for American women--not just feminists--and even by '94, we still hadn't fully calcified from the upheavals of the Clinton election and the Clarence Thomas hearings. In '94, the fountain of (often bestselling) feminist texts were still emerging. The "heterophobia"/Antioch "Is This Ok?"* clause hadn't even dropped. Not sure how it impacts the conclusions, per se, but by using over 10-year-old statistics, we're not getting a complete enough view to be able to gauge how hetero marriages are affected today. Also, I hope Ms. O'Rourke is just teasing out the data here:
Feminist ideals, not domestic duties, seem to be what make wives morose. Progressive married women—who should be enjoying some or all of the fruits that Freidan lobbied for—are less happy, it would appear, than women who live as if Friedan never existed.
As a feminist in my late 20s who wants kids, a career, AND a marriage or stable long-term partnership (and maybe a formal education, too), I am getting REALLY fucking sick of "sociologists" and op-ed columnists trying to tell me that none of these things are possible at once. I've got one chance to do it, and I'm going to, even if I'm 52 and injecting fertility drugs like it's cocoa puffs.
* Is This OK? = Name of my coming-of-age prog band, 2001-2003, RIP
SPECIAL!! As promised, special guest-blogger Mo's thoughts on the Oscars.
Oscars '06
First thought:
They're perfect.
Note on the live-action shorts:
Bet all these films suck my asshole.
"Please God let us get through this." - Julianne.
8:48
OH MY GOD
NYU Professor wins oscar and outs himself! What will the listserv say?
(I locked him out of an office freshman year and was then labeled "unstable.")
9:25
Crash interpretative dance. Emotional. Yes, VERY.
9:47
What a beautiful Chinese Geisha!
10:25
Holy shit! Three 6 Mafia wins. And cutaway to every hot black person in the audience "shock & awe"
IN SUM:
Highlights: 666 winning, all-American girl "Reese Witherspoon," the legitimate lady movie-reviewer on the preshow who aspires to be Leonard Maltin's stepford wife. Also Stewart and Nicholson.
Low points:
Every shitass movie that was made last year and celebrated and re-celebrated as "art" for the last 3 months and for the next year.
Also, all the ugly dresses and the pursed lips.
kris ex sends this story on giving up. fuck.
and I'm WAY late on this, but extra-special RIP to Octavia Butler. I am a huge science fiction fan, but Ms. Butler, MacArthur Genius, is one of my favorite authors, period--I first started reading her in high school (her and Philip K Dick, nerdlife) and I'm sure her writing influenced me a great deal. She was a fellow Cascadian, dwelling among the crests and peaks and Boeing-shadowed architecture of Seattle, and while her work was about about reframing history with a hopeful eye, her talent was bigger than allegory or even reimagination. It was the art of writing with a wide, open heart, and being completely engaged with the world, even when it's at its most destitute. I aspire to be so generous. Or, as this piece puts it, "Her work was more what her friend and mentor Harlan Ellison called his writing — speculative fiction. It was about ideas, what ifs that explored who we are and whom we might become."
According to the above linked story, she said, "The time it takes to write a book is as long as you've been alive, and then some." I love her.
Click here to order her books through the Powell's union (what's up in the stacks, Longshorepeople! Local 5 for LIFE!). Kindred's where most people start, and should, but I also recommend Parable of the Sower and Bloodchild, her short stories.
Here's a story she wrote for O. And here's an interesting essay: Sower of Seeds: Octavia Butler's Utopian Feminism.
But anyway, Triple 6 winning an Oscar = glad I couldn't reach my bookie before the show. The odds were eight trillion to one? Then again, it helped that Dolly's song was all about Jesus, and the lady who wrote the song for Crash had slightly less melodic resonance than a fly wing. PS, why did they ask the whitest woman that side of Celine Dion to compose the theme song for a film about American race relations? The melting pot: write the music egalitarian = Defang it so the shit doesn't even register? I mean, can I GET A POLYPHONIC RHYTHM ONE TIME?!--HOLLER AT NED SUBLETTE and THE ORIGIN OF ALL MUSICS, at least! AFROCUBAN RHYTHMS, MI AMIGA! SYNCOPATE! More on this later.
Jon Stewart was hilarious, and the favor was returned with dead fucking silence. His jokes were subtle, sophisticated, and painfully true, like, Life during wartime: Michelle Williams receiving $200,000 giftbag. (As Sally Struthers says, $200,000 will keep an American family of four in health insurance for a half-decade.) The only dude who got Stewart's stee: George Clooney. [Addendum: and Jamie Foxx and his sister.] Dear Sean Fennessey, loyal and talented friend, I apologize for ever talking shit about your boy. When I grow up I want to marry a man just like Clooney. I adore him. Fat Clooney, Spinal injury Clooney, Ambien Clooney, Dodge Dart Clooney, Flirting with Barbara Walters Clooney, I don't give a fuck. I'll take him, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.
Longer letter later, plus Special Guest Blogger Mo's Oscar thoughts (apparently the guy who won the Oscar for Best Animated Short Film is the selfsame NYU professor who flagrantly put her on Watch for an entire month her freshman year, and she has some things to say about it).
truly, angioplasty is the best medical procedure, because it requires a balloon. Because one SHOULD celebrate the clearing away of blockages.
So I began this week with some escapism: I od'ed on Crunk Juice, aka Crunk energy drink, at the Lil Jon-hosted E-40 listening party, at Electric Lady studios on NYC's beautiful WESTSIIIDE, famous for Jimi Hendrix (and if you forget that it is famous for Jimi Hendrix, the psychedelic wallpaper in the bathroom is there to remind you). For approx. 20 minutes, it was the best party EVER, inevitably so, considering it was hosted by a king of crunk and a great-uncle of hyphy; the soundtrack was E-40's new album, My Ghetto Report Card, which, on the whole, sounds like having your great-uncle of hyphy (loose etymology: "hype" + "fly") invite you over for a party and get you so Crunk Juiced that when he starts speaking in byzantine slang terms, you think the reason you can't understand him is cuz you're wasted on Crunk Juice. But then he hands you another Crunk Juice, or something else with caffeine and 150 cc's of corn syrup, and it's like the fucking Rosetta Stone: spiritually awakened, the sound of beats woofing and men barking is your metaphysical go-ahead to invent your own kind of bananas capoeira, and you start making up interpretive dances like "Thizz Face," a dance which simply requires one to assume a "Thizz Face." There, in the Electric Lady, your mind opens up to... ???? It's you doing you, girl, but angioplastied.
I left this party just after observing one of the 42 or so hired strippers (a mid-party surprise) grind her Brazilian'd ass in the face of the guy who had served me a dollop of greens just 15 minutes prior. He was still wearing his apron, and sitting in a folding chair. Luckily I was so wasted on caffeine, sodium citrate, calcium lactate, natural flavors, black carrot extract (for color), magnesium lactate, ascorbic acid, vitamin E acetate, niacinamide (vit B3), pantothenic acid (vitamin B5), pyridoxine HCL (vit B6), riboflavin (vitamin B2), thiamin HCL (vit B1), and cyanocobalamin (vit B12), I was able put the sight of it from my mind. All discussions of space, feminism, prudence, porn and appropriate occasions to hire strippers aside, you really don't want to witness a lapdance one foot away from you while you're still digesting your dinner.
*Slightly* more in-depth analysis on the janemag.com blog. But here are two photos, when it was still the best party i've ever been to in my life, before the strippers came and altered the dynamic from "dance" to "Dance."
1. lil jon stoically handing out free giant nugs of weed from a ziploc bag
2. dude from "tell me when to go," aka my new dance-idol (the "scrape" and "gas brake dip dip" dances are so best)
Nick got better photos at the fader blog, make sure you check them out, cuz by the time i started taking flicks i was already so crunk'd I was actually embalmed.
Joey's hyphy/bay area MY BLOCK airs on MTV 2 this sunday at 2 pm, we're all gonna watch it and you should, too.
