"less hip than a u.s. senator with a silver stick in his ass"

My employer-daddy, The Stranger, lost their hip-hop columnist (last time I saw him, he was totally selling Vast Aire's merch). Until they find another, Dan Savage—lover of showtunes, tooth fetishist, moderately sadistic advice columnist—has taken over, and it's a hopeless trainwreck. A hilarious one, for the time being. But someone should apply for the job, like, yesterday.