Cowboyz 'n' Poodles

OK so. There are a lot of things I do not miss about Portland (sorry dudes) but there a few things I do. I.e. the Blazers, no tax, Higher Taste Golden Slices, my old dance teacher Mariecella Devine, "14-oz boner." Obviously the main thing I miss is the queen superstar of pdx dj life, my former roommate and best friend, the fabulous and amazing Connie Wohn the Louis Vuitton don diva, aka La Connie, aka Consuela Wohnita*, aka Ms Wohn Towne if you nasty, and now, a new nickname, one that I did not coin: CONSTANCE WOHNSTEIN. The reason she has a new name is not because she is now jewish (seoul sister baybay, although if you talk to her about it she'll tell you she's always been a little jewish). She is now Constance Wohnstein because she is a promoter in pdx (she puts on the only hip hop dj night worth going to, shout to mi gente rev shines and ohmega watts). And she just put on a night with her crew, Young Jews on the Come Up, called CURB YOUR EN-JEWSIASM, a night to celebrate LARRY DAVID'S BIRTHDAY. Is this not awesome? Yes, it is awesome. Connie is awesome. She coined the word b'dang and had awesome parties and always looks fly. Whenever she comes to NY i feel braver and stronger. She just has that effect on people. Recognize a legend. Respect the realness!

*sidebar connie is also honorary member of la raza in case u didnt know

And finally... the stitches where my arm popped out. It looks way better. All the yellow Lisa Simpson skin is internal bruising and follows a map of injured ligaments, tendons.

Via racialicious, Ta-Nehisi Coates on Hillary's privilege in RE: her comment that she was "shocked" at the sexism she encountered:

Why the hell was Hillary Clinton, and many of her allies, "shocked" by the sexism she encountered? I've been wondering this for months. I mean think about: Nobody black is "shocked" that Clinton won West Virgina and Kentucky 2 to 1. Nobody black is "shocked" that there is a Curious George tee-shirt of Obama. Nobody black is shocked that a Kentucky Congressman called Barack Obama "boy." Black people can't afford to be shocked. If anything we're shocked Obama won Iowa, Oregon and Idaho. In other words, we're shocked that America is evidently less racist than we thought it was.

I think this reflects how gender interacts with privilege--and arguably white privilege. No black woman who has to walk down Lenox Ave. and endure the cat-calls, who has to deal with the latest ho-slapping Snoop single, who has to function in a culture where "pimp" is now a postive word, is "shocked" by sexism. Indeed, Essence magazine has been on this shit for years. In fact, I'd argue that no white woman who spends her days, say, as a waitress in a diner would be shocked. That is how you know Hillary is an elite--she has the right, indeed the privilege, to be shocked by sexism. If she's shocked by what she saw running for president, let me submit that a day as black woman, a Latina, or working white woman would send her into cardiac arrest. .

Hear, hear. I would also add to the above: any woman who walks down any street in nyc at any given time, maybe barring the gossip girl quadrants, i dont know, dont spend a ton of time in rich manhattan. anyway. go ta-nehisi.

My man Jiro Wang from the popular Taiwanese drama Rolling Love (Go Fried Rice!) has a blog. It plays "Apologize" by One Republic over and over. You probably can't read it unless you are fluent in Mandarin or you google-translate it. But it's mostly just photos anyway.

she is in every magazine on every planet, the features and the ads. you cannot walk down an east village sidestreet or poorly lit brewhaus without seeing her and her hairdo, memo to fash mag editors: soccer coach lezzes have been working that look for years. and that hat. that stupid ubiquitous hat. the only person who is allowed to wear that hat is mark ronson or in the thompson twins. i need her to fall back.

pete says you are the george bush of supermodels

minutes before the elbow incident. i knew not what pain would beFALL me. photo: krisanne johnson. club: bed-stuy. ignorance: priceless.

song frm my young youth just popped into my head. reminds me of 16, 120 minutes, weekends and wishing for something bigger. "i'll get outta here one day." dude is kinda naff, good video tho. props to scrabble and unicyclists..

im writing this whole post with my left hand because something very traumatic and awful occurred with my right. i naomi campbelled my elbow and by that i do not mean i threw a cell phone at it and was sentenced to community service. i wish. it was more like this:

1. doing story on these parties that START at like 2 or 3 am.
2. decide to leave at 5 cause im exhausted and must work in morn.
3. walking home frm train in
3a. towering (sesi!) heels (these)
4. trip over jutting sidewalk, try to save my face with outstreched hand
5. dislocate elbow.

a city worker witnessed and dialed ambulance, while a 52 yr old drnk lady (the dind of drnk who is walking around at 5 am with an open cup of booze) watched over me and tried to get me to drink from her cup. naaaaah thanks, meanwhile im making the most absurd noises, squealing in like mariah carey octaves. part of it was pain cause yow! but i was also numb from shock and the main reason im screaming is that YO. there are 2 things no one should ever have to see: what their rubbery arm looks like when it disattaches frm itself and the sight of bone jutting through their own skin. even worse, the sight of the quarter sized hole in said skin once bone has been reconnected by 4 doctrs and an intern, as it bleeds incessantlu and some gross shit oozes frm the hole that the dr determines to be ARM FAT. ewwwwwwwwwwww eeeeeeek! i am never eating oreos again! they put morphine in me which frkd me out (f iv drugs!) but i needed it and fell asleep. now im splinted and gimpy and my yoga weekend is ruined. i can not even put my hair in a ponytail! dr. sarah came over and made me magic icepacks n generally acted doctorly even tho she is an architect and brought me trashy magazines which was super nice so i felt worse after falling asleep while she was here. body trauma is the equivalent of a 10k run or, i presume, 22 hours of tantric sex.

it took me 9 hours to write this post.

so. what are your gross injury horror stories? please share thy pain.

chuck bassian, non! MAIS OUIIIII!
Speaking of boyfriends, my new one is the star of the Taiwanese TV dramedy "Rolling Love (Go! Fried Rice)." Yes, I have been lately watching a lot of tv shows from Korea, Japan and Taiwan at night. Before I fall asleep, okay? What. Anyway, Jiro Wang is the boyfriend in question. He plays Michelin, a feared street gangster who gave it all up to take over the family diner when his dad died, only to find he has a NATURAL GIFT for making TRANSCENDANT FRIED RICE, for which everyone across the land flocks to his diner to eat. As far as I can tell it's just egg, rice and scallions (p.s. am I lame if I learned how to make fried rice watching this show?), but it is the subtle simplicity of the dish that garners Michelin his aggressive foodie fans... and which will eventually find him love (according to the summary, I'm not to that episode yet).

Anyway Jiro Wang is totally adorable as Michelin and, obviously, he is in a popular BOY BAND called Fahrenheit. According to dramawiki, "He is the baritenor vocalist of the group. His publicized temperature is that of hot Summer, at 95 degrees. He also represents "Hot." So there you have it, my new celebrity crush is the Justin Timberlake of Taiwan. God. I bore even myself with the painful predictability of my mantaste. It's like, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW. I have a sixth sense for picking out boy band members, celebrity DJ / producers and dudes who only listen to Southern rap. I need to start hanging out on the upper west side or some shit.

I DIGRESS!
The coolest thing about Jiro Wang, besides his copious talents, is that he is a healthy eater. I know because he has starred in this commercial advising viewers to DRINK MORE WATER...

And this commercial advertising Po Mi Veggie Drink as an alternative to fried foods:

I will say this though. I don't think it can work out cause um, I don't really like his band.

In the Japanese TV drama "Zettai Kareshi" (aka "Absolute Boyfriend," based on a popular manga of same name), this robotics company develops a prototype to be a perfect boyfriend, an ideal lover, for cute but bumbling protagonist / test subject Riiko--a robot whose sole mission is to please her in any way he can. In this scene, the first model (Night, aka 01) fights the newer model (Toshiki, aka 02), made by a warring faction of the same robot company. It is cool enough to think about two dudes fighting each other to be your boyfriend (if a bit reminiscent of like, mountain rams), but when they are two boyfriend robots? SLAMMING!

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