Born to Lose
by shoshanna
Miraculously, I finally got myself out on an actual bike ride, instead of just talking about wanting to all the time and never doing it. I made it about ten blocks from my house, and then did something really dumb and totally ate it. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. Or maybe I am just ultra sympathetic to Bianca in a messed up psychic way, because she also totally ate it earlier this week. We're like the awesome twins. Go us!
Posted on November 28, 2004 | Comments (0)
In-Depth Fitness Dork Style Guide, Part II: Music
by shoshanna
OK, enough whining. We now return to what's really important: dorking out in shorts.
Now that you have the image down, the other most important part of running, or any other sport, is the soundtrack. Good music is really what makes the difference between enduring running because you know it's good for you and being compulsively addicted to it. Seriously, like Queen will come on the radio and I'll just start sprinting. Generally, when selecting running music, marks of quality include likelihood of being played at a gay club and/or football game, coming from a foreign country, or is just being really stupid. I usually rotate between a couple excellent mix cds of cheesy Japanese and American pop from my dear friend Bianca, Ultimate Dance Party 1997, and the radio.
My main beef with the radio is that in the mornings most commercial stations just have dumb people on the air talking about nothing, but if you can catch them when they're actually playing music, Z 100.5 and 95.5 are really good. 95.5 will play the more scandalous stuff that Z 100 shies away from, they mix it pretty well, and they tend to have less blather and more jams. On the other hand, Z100 has Avril and Jessica, and when I listen to it I pretend to be a blonde with a tan at University of Texas.
My other two favorite stations are KBPS Kid Radio and Radio Disney. KBPS (1450 AM) is KPSU, the college station, but only during nights and weekends. I don't understand how a city like Portland can lack a 24-hour college station, and having grown up in Berkeley, this pains me. That said, the other side of 1450 AM is a pretty good consolation prize. During the day, KBPS is the Portland public schools' radio station, which is sort of a junior version of college radio and pretty cool in its own way. Gems recently heard include "Moving Right Along" from the Muppet Movie, "Yoda" (to the tune of the Kinks' "Lola"), the song that lists all of the countries in the world, the Backstreet Boys, "Prince Ali" from Alladin, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song, and "The Monster Mash," in the middle of November. Then there will be a high school student reading a news report about ten-year-old toast on ebay or crab mating phenomena in Florida. And of course, there are no commercials. A lot of people are sore about the school district trying to fenagle more airtime from PSU, but KBPS Kid Radio's programming is so weird and rad that I don't really care. (For the record, I think the deal is that they now get Friday nights for high school football games, but KPSU gets to start at 4pm instead of 5. Also, you can listen to KPSU any hour of the day on the internet.)
Radio Disney is odd. If KBPS is the little sister of college radio, Radio Disney is Z100 with training wheels. The format mimics typical mainstream pop stations, with annoying DJs and contest giveaways, except that instead of asking about listeners' most scandalous date experiences for free club admission, they have people call in and identify the capitol city of Maryland to win supersoakers. They don't play music from Disney movies, disappointingly. Billed as "Music kids love, not kid music," the station plays the most sterile of the current crop of pop star hits, many from the younger pop stars (who aren't allowed to sing about booty yet) and all presumably from albums produced by Disney-related companies. They leave out the "I Wanna Smoove You" booty jams in favor of the "Let's Party!" bubblegum stuff, which is nice accompaniment for some good, clean, excercising fun. However, Radio Disney also includes a fair portion of saccharin ballads about love and heartbreak, which disturbs me. It's not that I have anything against saccharin ballads, but I'm concerned about young listeners being exposed to such mature themes. The folks at Disney take care to protect children from the dangers of swearing and lewdness, but the stuff about unrealistic romantic ideals, heartbreak, and loneliness is what's really going to screw them up for life. Like there's this song about this girl finding out her BF is cheating on her with another girl because he left her number on his cell-phone. That is just so wrong. But sometimes they also play forgotten club hits from the 90s, which makes up for it.
Lastly, there is always the oldies station. I've been feeling a little miffed ever since I realized that they've dropped the 50s music completely since there are not enough people left to appreciate it, and replaced it with 70s garbage like Creedence Clearwater Revival, which is apparently now oldies. With so much excellent disco to choose from, it seems strange and annoying that KISN (95.5) has weeded out only the decade's worst pseudo-hippie schlock to assault us with over the airwaves. Well, I guess Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" is kind of cool. The good news is that the station also plays alot of really awesome early 60s rock and roll, so if you can make it through "Who'll Stop the Rain," there are some treats in there. It's fun just to be able to say you sweated to the oldies.
That's about it. All the other stations are pretty much poop.
Posted on November 25, 2004 | Comments (6)
The Smallest Violin in the World is Playing Just for Me
by shoshanna
I keep changing my mind about whether or not to publish this entry. I published it, then I unpublished it when I decided it was too whiny and embarrassing, then I read Krystal's post from the 22nd and changed my mind again. For now I'm leaving it up, so if you hate self-pitying crap just don't read it.
In Born Into This, the biographical film about Charles Bukowski, he talks about how every morning he would get up and write all day, then go to work at the post office. Charles Bukowski was a real writer. I like the idea of getting up every morning and writing. That's the first sign that I'm not a real writer. I like the idea of it.
It's been pointed out that any time you spend thinking about how you like the idea of being something, or how cool it's going to be when you succeed, makes it that much less likely that you are actually going to become that thing or succeed. The people who succeed don't think about the idea of succeeding. They only think about what they're doing that they're succeeding at, because they have to do it, they're compelled to do it and they can't think about anything else. I'm not one of those people. I like the idea of being a writer. I like thinking about living in an apartment crammed with books, sitting at my desk in a nest of empty soda pop cans madly typing away at my next masterpiece. I like the idea of being respected in a small circle of intelligent peers. I like the idea of being published in cool magazines and going to parties where it's OK to talk about things like the nature of language or the merits of Victorian authors and people don't just think you're trying to be impressive, or if you are it's OK because everyone's trying to impress eachother and everyone has a fighting chance. I spend alot of time thinking about the fabulous writing career and accompanying lifestyle that await me.
What I don't do is lay down any background work to actually get myself there. I don't wake up every morning and write. I don't develop my style, or think about the structure and concepts of what I'm working on. I don't plan larger projects. I don't subscribe to the magazines I respect, or schedule informational interviews so I can try to get internships there. I'm pretty sure that one day I'm going to just get a phonecall out of the blue from an editor I've never introduced myself to, offering me a lucrative sum to write a weekly column on whatever I feel like. Syndicated. This is why I'm not a real writer, and this is why at 24 I'm not out of college yet but my career is already over.
Posted on November 23, 2004 | Comments (19)
We Mock You Because We Like You
by shoshanna
I've been requested to include here my write-up of the Gilbert & Sullivan satire of Oscar Wilde. It's extremely brisk and unedited, so if anyone wants to lift it for their own class it probably isn't worth it. Those who attend PSU and hate writing real papers should take classes from Prof. Holloway, because he lets you turn in stuff like this and get credit for it. You can read the original work in the Norton Anthology of English Literature, Seventh Edition, Volume 2. BTW Wilde was very flattered by Gilbert's portrait and didn't get mad.
"If You're Anxious for to Shine in the High Aesthetic Line" by W.S. Gilbert is a very funny mockery of Oscar Wilde’s and his associates’ aestheticism. Besides being funny, it also helps the reader gain more of an understanding of what the aesthetes were like (or perceived to be like), the ways people reacted to them, and their place in society.
Although many of those who favored aestheticism were undoubtedly, for lack of a better word, earnest, the movement also seemed to be prone to pretentiousness, which this piece highlights well with lines like, “In short, my medievalism’s affectation, / Born of a morbid love of admiration!” Since it was by definition a very attractive and alluring genre, it’s easy to imagine throngs of young literature appreciators, and the original aesthetes themselves, emulating aestheticism not solely because they were fond of its ideas, but more because it made them seem cool.
The other side of this of course is that people fell for it. Gilbert sums up quite well the instant credibility often given to people who seem to consider themselves smart and serious, even if they’re unintelligible: “If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for me, / Why, what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be!” Gilbert is basically the one shouting that the emperor wears no clothes. The way he pokes fun a people who take themselves really seriously is brilliant because rather than trying to cut Wilde down by outsmarting him, he accomplishes it by outdumbing him. Even if the ideas behind aestheticism really do hold water, it still doesn’t matter if nobody else understands them. Oscar Wilde is also a good choice for mockery because he himself constantly mocked other people in his work, so when he becomes the object of Gilbert’s satire he gets to have a taste of his own medicine.
The structure of the verse and the rhyme structure is well set up for the stage, to the point that when reading it one can imagine how it would sound as a musical number in the theater. It holds up well over time because pretentious artists still exist in modern variations, and are still received by others in a similarly nonplussed fashion.
Posted on November 22, 2004 | Comments (8)
please stand by.
by shoshanna
I'm still working on the music portion of the In-Depth Fitness Dork Style Guide, which is getting kind of out of hand, which is why it's taking so long. Also, I have been spending most of my writing time working on things for school, like an analysis of the Gilbert & Sullivan satire of Oscar Wilde's pretentiousness, which is actually quite timely. More blogging to come soon, promise.
Posted on November 20, 2004 | Comments (1)
In-Depth Fitness Dork Style Guide, Part I: Fashion
by shoshanna
There are many things in life that are really only worth doing for aesthetic reasons, or at least only enjoyable for aesthetic reasons. Good aesthetics can sometimes make even bad things good. Running is good no matter what, but its wonder is exponentially enhanced when unnecessary aesthetic elements are added. There is nothing sadder than seeing people for whom running appears a painful chore, when with the right setup they could be totally in the zone.
First, think about your running look. Dressing up helps you get and stay in the mood, and feel like you're doing something exciting, special and fun, like a moving, one-person party at 7am. There are a few major themes, which can be combined to best express your inner fitness dork. If you're going for the college lady athlete look, it's extremely important to find the shortest shorts possible. Roll them down at the top so the white elastic shows. Little tank tops and miniature hoodies in pastel colors are good too. Wear fashionable hi-tech sneakers with the tiny little socks that barely show above the edge of your shoes. A perky ponytail is a must, and be sure to wear a little jewelry and/or sweat-proof makeup. My other favorite running look is inspired by my role model, Rocky Balboa. Keep the short shorts but add tall sweat socks with the stripes at the top and a ratty sweatshirt. Bonus points for terry headbands and wristbands, and shirts with stupid stuff written in iron-on letters. Another strategy is to just accept that you're going to look ridiculous no matter what, so you might as well try to look like the biggest idiot possible just because it's funny. This look is a natural for me, especially in colder months when clashing layers become necessary. Wearing shorts over leggings instantly brings me back to the prolonged cringe of my pre-teen years. One of these days I am going to go all the way and just do leggings without the shorts. Watch out, world.
Next time, part II: the soundtrack.
Posted on November 15, 2004 | Comments (3)
Top Ten 11/13/04
by shoshanna
1. Machaca burritos at La Sirenita
2. Acrylic nails
3. English
4. Arrested Development
5. Cell phone technology
6. The radio
7. Unicorns
8. Gentle Lovers arrm warmers
9. Running
10. Vampire teeth
Posted on November 13, 2004 | Comments (10)
Cool Stuff
by shoshanna
Walter Pater was one of the original proponents of the Victorian epicurean way of thinking, which is basically that life is short and you might as well enjoy yourself. Pater said that much more elegantly though, as painstakingly crafting his prose was one way he chose to savor his brief moment of consciousness. Thank you, Walter Pater, for reminding me why I study English.
Posted on November 10, 2004 | Comments (5)
Chocolate Cola
by shoshanna
Hello. My name is Shoshanna and this is my new weblog. It's called Chocolate Cola because that's one of the best things in the world. You used to be able to get it in a bottle in the mid-90s, but Arizona stopped producing it apparently to concentrate on trendy green tea. You can also just mix cola with chocolate syrup from a can, which is also one of the best things in the world. It is good to always have a can of chocolate syrup in your refrigerator because it is tasty and you can put it on all kinds of things, such as peanut butter, and also it is iconic and makes your refrigerator more stylish inside. (Other stylish things to keep in the refrigerator are Kikkoman soy sauce and Chinese takeout containers.) Chocolate cola gets even better when you add rum and soy milk. You could add real milk, but it might curdle which is kind of gross.
I think aesthetics are a really important part of identity, and things like how you dress, what you eat and how you drink strongly influence who you think you are. Swigging cheap liquor from a paper bag makes you feel punk rock, even if you are at a very hip art opening. Chocolate cola with rum was an integral part of my swinging bachelorette lifestyle. Me and my friends Christian and Natalie would mix some up and then go to parties at the City Sign building or wherever. These days I am responsible and mostly drink water out of a Nalgene bottle.
Posted on November 7, 2004 | Comments (1)