Dual-purpose Bookshelf
"Mr. Lakin, a woodworker, makes coffins specifically for home funerals. Ranging in price from $480 to $1,200, they double as bookcases, entertainment centers and coffee tables until they need to be used." -The New York Times
— Honey, can I ask you a question?
— What is it? Is something wrong?
— Oh, it's nothing big. It's just... I never understood why our bookcase has those big handles on it.
— Those make it easier for the pallbearers to carry.
— What?
— You've never seen a coffin without handles, have you?
— Our bookcase is... a coffin?
— I thought we went over this before I bought it.
— No. It just sort of quietly appeared in our living room one day.
— Oh. Well, yeah. Our bookcase doubles as a coffin. Cool, huh?
—So all this time we've been storing our library... in your coffin.
— No, the bookcase is your coffin. My coffin is the entertainment center.
— The entertainment— why didn't I know about this? Is everything a goddamn coffin in this death house!?
— Besides the bookshelf and entertainment center? Just that coffee table.
— (Spits out coffee.) Jesus Christ...
— That one's for the little guy. (Points to wife's swollen stomach.) If... you know... something happens.
—...
— God forbid.
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