SO!!! This advice was amazing on about fifty thousand levels, and made me feel so much better about the entire thing. YOU ARE RIGHT–keeping things like this inside just lets it eat you up, control you, warp your mind and your memories, etc. And me trying to ‘protect’ my husband emotionally was doing me a disservice and in a way, kind of offensive to him because I was assuming he’d freak out and not be able to ‘handle it,’ and what is THAT about? The dude is a grown ass man with a wife, and needs to handle my ‘blobby feelings’ sometimes (all the time, perhaps!)

I ended up telling him about it, and didn’t spare the gory details–how scared it made me, how I felt really vulnerable about the situation, how it made me realize how much worse shit could go down in that sort of situation, and how I want him to be aware of that shit too so he can keep an eye out for me, etc. We talked about how I was feeling like the good times were getting crowded out by this one little bad time, and he immediately got the picture and started reminding me of all the great things that we did together and the fun we had during the other 99% of the trip. It was a really satisfying talk emotionally, and on top of that I think we are both more likely to watch out for each other and be protective, which honestly is not a bad thing in this fucked up world. I guess sometimes I do kind of want to feel ‘protected’ by my man partner, and I know he’ll do that for me. But you also reminded me that I was tough and smart and did the right things in the situation, and handled it, and in that way I protected myself too. Woot!

Another thing I took away from your advice was 1. Tell Everybody About It. Obviously I’m being more selective, but for example today I had lunch with a co-worker buddy, and she of course wanted to hear about the honeymoon, and I said “Well it was great, but let me tell you about this fucked up thing that happened.” And you know what? It turned into this amazing conversation about our lives as women, and how we can be shocked when these ‘situations’ happen to US, because of course we are raised to internalize the idea that women ‘ask for it’ and that these things only happen to certain types of women, etc. etc. She told me a horrifying story about a psychologist friend of hers who was gang-raped and basically had to use all her psychology tools that she had taught her female patients who were assaulted on herself so that she didn’t completely blame herself, dissociate, etc. It made me all the more grateful that my situation wasn’t worse and that there are women out there who will talk about this stuff to each other and say hey, it wasn’t your fault, even if you were drinking or flirting or wearing a low-cut top, there are shitheads in this world who will do bad things no matter who you are or what you do, and that is why you have to be tough and watch out for yourself and for each other, and tell your trusted menfolk need to be told this shit too because like it or not, men have power and most of them can do the right thing if they are aware of what is happening to the women in their lives. We even talked about how my coworker’s husband is teaching his 5-year-old son not to try to wake up girls when they are napping just because he wants to get them to watch pokemon or whatever, because he must RESPECT HER SAFE SPACE and sleeping girls need to be PROTECTED.

WOMEN!!!! MEN!!! AMAZING!!!

Anyway wrap-up, advice = exceptional, results = highly satisfactory. Everyone and everyone, ask Yours Truly how to fix YOUR life!!! She will not disappoint!

I’m gonna go kick a pig!