things of cultural significance – Action Items

notes from Sao Paulo

Matt McCormick — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 20:07:21 +0000

“lost love? bring your love back like a bee to honey! you pay after you get results!”

Hazel on Hi-8

Matt McCormick — Sat, 02 May 2009 23:05:58 +0000

I found an old box of Hi-8 videotapes that I shot in the early and mid 90s, including this concert footage of the Portland indie/grunge band Hazel playing at the now defunct venue La Luna in June of 1996. Hazel shows were always fun and a little crazy; they had a designated ‘dancer’ (Fred Nemo) who’d offer an unpredictable element of danger.

Hazel performing at La Luna / 1996 from matt mccormick.

mystery abandoned roadside attraction

Matt McCormick — Tue, 20 May 2008 00:03:40 +0000

On Highway 97 in Oregon, about mid-way between Chemult and Klamath Falls, lies a mysterious abandoned roadside attraction that has been taken over by a truck accessories store. Hub City Chrome, an incredibly specialized store that deals in big rig bling, apparently moved into this location about ten years ago but doesn’t seem to know or care much about the places history. It looks to be some sort of 1960s era “prehistoric times” campground or theme park, but is now boarded up and plastered with no trespassing signs. The very grumpy man working in the store (which i assume is either a new building or used to be the office of the campground) had no information he cared to share other then to let us know that we were not welcome, and it’s clear that the business isn’t interested in utilizing the mammoth life-sized Paraceratherium sculpture in front of the store, and instead is sadly letting the amazing mid-century paper-mache looking work of art rot away. It seems at the very worst they would use the Paraceratherium as a sign- paint it up and pimp it out with some chrome rims or something…

this sign said ‘PORTAL TO THE PAST’ before it was painted out.

over the fence you can see a couple dinosaur statues like this one, though most were too far back in the trees to really be able to make out.
If anyone has any ideas as to what this place used to be please leave a comment. I have not been able to find anything on the web. SAVE THE PARACERATHERIUM!!!

mobile storage facility (or) a really good packing job

Matt McCormick — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:59:33 +0000

walking by this empty, permit-only parking lot the other day, it was hard not to notice this amazingly well packed Buick…

i have to admit that it has been a long time since i have seen a vehicle so thoroughly loaded up. it almost seems as if this car is more of a storage unit then actual car.

i felt that this was pretty sketchy when i first saw it, but closer examination revealed that the car does indeed have a permit to park in the lot, so it must be totally legit.

*thanks to Jenn Keyser for the tip on this amazing find.

good and bad decisions

Matt McCormick — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 08:06:01 +0000

It’s amazing how hard it is to find pie in restaurants these days, but Coos Bay, being an old funky dock town, seemed as likely a place as any that you could walk into an old 24-hour diner, sit at the counter, and order a cup of coffee and piece of pie from a waitress with a big bouffant hair-do, a cigarette dangling from her lip and a pot of coffee dangling from her index finger. Her name would probably be Bev, and the pie would be unquestionably perfect.
I had read in the newspaper that a new shipwreck had been discovered on the Southern Oregon coast near Coos Bay, and being fascinated with all things left abandoned, and having a hankering for that slice of homemade pie, I decided I had no choice but to go down and find it. It didn’t take much to convince my pal Megan Scheminske to come along, and we loaded up Tess in the Red Baron and headed south.

A shipwreck is the physical manifestation of a bad decision. The decision to go right when you should have gone left, the decision to go forward instead of turning around. Or sometimes it’s just the result of bad luck; some important apparatus stops working, a particularly bad storm hits, or maybe things just don’t go right. Either way, the moment in which the ships crew realizes all is lost must be a heavy one. Crap, we really messed up.
After asking the clerk at a convenience store, the entire wait staff at a restaurant, and the owner of a motel where the shipwreck was located, we were somewhat able to piece enough information together to go find it. While everyone in Coos Bay is aware and excited about the newly discovered shipwreck, it’s on a pretty remote stretch of beach and it seems that very few have actually ventured out to see it.
The new shipwreck is actually an old shipwreck, dating back to 1944, which until just a few weeks ago had been completely covered by a sand dune. But after a winter of punishing storms, the sand dune was swept away by waves, and the old wreck was revealed. It was first discovered by a couple beachcombers, and since has attracted a bevy of maritime enthusiasts and lookie lous from up and down the coast. It took a few days, but amateur maritime historians where able to pinpoint the ship’s identity and determined that it was the George L. Olson, “a 223-foot-long wood-hulled schooner, launched on Jan. 22, 1917, from the W.F. Stone shipyards in Oakland, California” that ran aground and sank in June of 1944. The ship had been all over the world, but on it’s last journey it was attempting to haul a load of timber from Coos Bay to San Francisco.

The shipwreck is on a remote beach that is only accessible by hiking or dune-buggying. Since dune-buggying isn’t really either of our styles we decided to hike it, especially since the hike would take us past another noteworthy shipwreck in the New Carissa. The New Carissa, which was a big ocean freighter that ran aground in 1999, serves as example number one on the list of things not to do when a giant freighter runs aground. First, after the ship ran aground and started spewing bunker oil and diesel fuel into the water, state officials tried to pump the fuel off. When the waves and weather proved that task to be too difficult, the decision was made to burn the fuel off. Many thought that was a curious decision, but they went ahead and ignited the remaining fuel, only to find that instead of slowly burning off, the entire ship exploded into a giant fiery inferno. You’d think that after the famed 1970 whale detonation that state officials would have known better, but days later, when the flames finally receded, it could be noticed that the 640 foot ship had now blown into two pieces and was deeply embedded in the sand. Giant tugboats where called in to tow the ship pieces out to sea, but the lumbering hull wouldn’t budge. Then the navy came in and managed to pull the bow of the ship off the sand bar, but as soon as they let it go, it just drifted back to shore instead of sinking like they thought it would. The tugs pulled it out again, and this time a submarine torpedoed the hull and it finally sank. However, the navy tugs where never able to pull the stern of the ship off the sand bar, and to this day it remains sitting there, slowly rusting away. Apparently there is another attempt scheduled for this summer, I’ll be curious to see what they try this time.

I kind of wish they’d leave the ship there. Considering the original wreck, and the botched attempts to deal with it, the heap that is the New Carissa is essentially a monument to failure and bad decision-making. In fact, instead of removing it they should install a giant marker on the beach that just says FAILURE in really big letters, and maybe some poetic words about remembering all the times we have just totally fucked up.
The hike was an 8 mile round trip journey that left me sore for days. Something about walking in sand seems to get the attention of the most disused muscles in my body. By the time we got back to the car it was obvious that it was time for phase two of our trip to go into effect: find pie. I am not going to lie; I have been on a banana cream pie kick for the past couple of months. There is just something about going into some old funky diner and ordering a cup of coffee and a fat slice of homemade pie. It’s not just a desert, it’s an adventure. And sure enough, we found a place right on Route 101, the Main Street Diner that advertised AWARD WINNING PIES on their decorative neon sign. Our waitress may not have been named Bev, but man was the pie good. Definitely a CORRECT decision.

true words spoken by a wise man

Matt McCormick — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 00:51:25 +0000

george

Matt McCormick — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:24:07 +0000

world’s largest egg (updated)

Matt McCormick — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 01:39:42 +0000

updated detail for VALDEZ (see comments)

it’s tuba christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt McCormick — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 00:28:23 +0000

tuba christmas

NATIONAL MUSEUM of FUNERAL HISTORY (TM)

Matt McCormick — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:20:01 +0000

NATIONAL MUSEUM of FUNERAL HISTORY (TM)
ANY DAY ABOVE GROUND IS A GOOD ONE (TM)
“Experience unique national treasures and the country’s largest display of funeral service memorabilia in the 20,000 square foot National Museum of Funeral History.
The museum is the home of rare artifacts and interesting historical information about one of our most important cultural rituals.
Among many fascinating items, you will find The funerals of the Famous Gallery, which exhibits artifacts and information on a variety of political and celebrity figures, including Elvis Presley, Martin Luther King, John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Mickey Mantle, and many more.

There are also presidential funeral exhibits such as the original “Eternal Flame” that burned at President John F Kennedy’s Arlington grave until 1998 and memorabilia from President George Washington to President Richard Nixon. In addition, the museum exhibits an exact replica of President Abraham Lincoln’s stately coffin, one of only two in existence today.

For the car enthusiast, the museum showcases a collection of horse-drawn hearses from as early as 1832 to other one-of-a-kind funeral service vehicles, all of which are still operable. Included in this exhibit are funeral sleighs, horse-drawn hearses and mourning coaches, a 1916 Packard “funeral bus” intended to replace the funeral procession, a 1921 Rockfalls Hearse made of six different types of wood, and a 1938 Henney-Packard Flower Car.

A full-scale replica of King Tut’s Sarcophagus highlights the exhibit in the “funeral directors” of ancient Egypt, who were the first to use sophisticated embalming processes thousands of years ago.
Other permanent displays include 19th century mourning clothes, various types of mourning jewelry and a late 19th century mourning room with a Victorian setting.

Recognized both nationally and internationally, the museum is ever changing and home to many rare collections, some even featured in movies and plays.
The National Museum of Funeral History enlightens its visitors with the interesting and often “mysterious” rituals that surround death.
The Museum provides a unique and entertaining atmosphere to hold corporate events and parties, from small 50-person cocktail parties to fully catered events with hundreds of guests. In addition to the Museum area, we offer over 10,000 feet of dining, kitchen, auditorium, and private meeting space.

We offer an enjoyable experience that cannot be matched by other museums.”
(this text was entirely lifted from the museums brochure. after visiting the museum the other day, which is in the suburbs of houston in a slightly awkward building, i decided there was no way i could better describe the overall feel of the place then to simply let them speak for themselves. but do visit their website at www.nmfh.org)