Joshua Eli Berezin: January 2008 Archives

Tonight, once again, we venture away from Belmont Station, to enjoy pizza and draught beer at Hot Lips Fancy Pants Pizzeria of Portland's Pearl District's eco-friendly "EcoTrust" building, where the beers are organic, the pizza is organic, and the tablecloths are plastic and ugly.

6/1000: Off the Rail Paranoid IPA of Forest Grove, Oregon and
7/1000: HUB Organic Red of Portland, Oregon (link)

J: Taste this Off the Rail Paranoid IPA.
M: It's good! It's not very strong, it's not as strong as I expected.
J: My first thought was that it was mostly pretty boring. It's creamy in a nice way.
M: When I hear "Pale Ale" I'm usually scared of it...
J: Pale Ale is not the right descriptor at all.

M: Taste this HUB Organic Red compared to that.
J: Yeah, that tastes like a beer. It has a lot of character.
M: I picked it just because of the logo.

J: Well, the Paranoid Pale is growing on me.
M: What did he say about the brewery? That's it's the lord of the dark side, or something?
J: He said it's a Forest Grove brewery dedicated to Ozzy Osbourne. Or Randy Rhodes, from Black Sabbath. Or from Ozzy Osbourne solo. It wasn't quite clear. It doesn't seem to me that a brewery should be dedicated to that.
M: No! Not at all.
J: Some aspect of beermaking would be a better thing to be excited about.
M: I do feel like brewers, in general, are bearded dudes. I could see something there.

J: The HUB beer is so good! I don't even know how to describe it .... complex, balanced, not wimpy.
M: It has a bite to it that I think I usually don't like, but I find it fine in this. Maybe that's part of it being balanced. I was worried beers from HUB would be deeply "beer guy" beers. See "120 Minute IPA".
J: Which we drank before we started this project, but we will have to go back to it.
M: Oh, we have to do it again?!
J: Sorry.

M: Does this HUB Red taste "toasted" to you at all?
J: Yeah, "toasted malt"?
M: The Paranoid Pale tastes so sweet after that. It smells fruity!
J: I was separating them with pizza to reset my palate. It does smell fruity, now that you mention it. It's not very carbonated, and that makes it smoother, but it also has a chalky flavor to it.

J: Conclusions?
M: I would have them both again. I like them both.
J: I could drink a ton of this Paranoid IPA. But I wouldn't call it an IPA. And by "I could drink a ton of it," I mean, I could drink a lot in one night. Cause it's easy to drink. But that doesn't mean I prefer it.
M: Would you get a keg of it?
J: No. I would get a keg of the HUB Red. I think it's one of my favorite beers. I'm kind of in love with it. I want to get another pint, instead of sharing yours.
M: It's okay, you can finish this one off.

993 to go!

4/1000: Walking Man Neanderthal of Stevenson, Washington (link)
Josh: Smoky! Chocolaty!
Mike: But it's not really strong. I think with a name like Neanderthal, we should point out its mildness.
Josh: I think I think I'm swayed by the setting. I think I'd like almost any beer that I had at Green Dragon. Unless I really didn't like it.
Mike: We should ask them for a bad beer.
Josh: This is very drinkable.
Mike: While still having a distinctive taste.
Josh: I would drink this all night.
Mike: I would too.
Josh: But they're going to be out of it by the end of the night. Ah, Green Dragon.

X/1000: Fearless Scottish Ale of Estacada, Oregon (link)
We regret to inform our readers that we don't know that we're actually drinking Scottish Fearless Ale at this point. The evidence is as follows: We ordered two. They look, to the naked eye, to be identical beers. One of the two has an incredibly distinctive, though not unpleasant, aroma. (Described as "grapey" by Mike.) The other beer has no discernable odor.

It's certainly possible that one of these beers is Fearless Scottish Ale. It is impossible to say which. We apologize for the inconvenience.

5/1000: Diamond Knot IPA of Mukilteo, Washington (link)
Josh: Delicious! A classic IPA! A hint of citrus. Nicely bitter.
Mike: Whoa. It's doing that thing I don't like. [Note: Mike often refers to an IPA aftertaste he notices in his cheeks, behind his teeth.]
Jessica: It tastes like how it smells when they're loading the grain onto the boats down by the river. It just tastes grainy in the air...
Mike: Yes!
Josh: I don't agree with you guys at all. I think it's just totally an IPA, totally unashamed. Diluted by nothing.
Mike: It's very sharp. It's somewhere between being stabbed and punched.
Josh: Like being "finned" by Jona?
Mike: Yes, like that.
Josh: But you secretly like being finned. It's part of a fun game.
Mike: No, I hate it. It's the worst thing. He does it way too hard, and I don't like it. Not that I hate this beer...
Josh: As weird as this conversation is, I feel we may have given an accurate impression of the beer.

995 to go!

Dear Internet:

Welcome to 1000 Beers. Please join us as we drink one thousand beers over the next three years.

We were inspired by the sandwich board at Belmont Station, seen here.

We will drink beers right here, at Belmont Station, but also at other fine beereries around Portland, the Northwest, the United States, and the World.

Lots of love,
Josh and Mike

1/1000: Estrella Damm of Barcelona

LA CERVEZA DE BARCELONA

Since 1876 When August Kuentzmann Damm arrived from Alsace, Estrella Damm has been brewed as a premium quality beer in Barcelona. Estrella means star in Spanish and as its name suggests the brand has become a star to the people of Barcelona. It has evolved with the city reflecting its character - sophisticated and passionate yet at the same time relaxed and welcoming.

J: Let's talk about this beer.
M: Wow, that's unremarkable.
J: You're impressed by how unremarkable it is?
M: It tastes like every beer in the world.
J: Yeah, like "world beer."
M: It has that taste of a really stinky Tsing Tao.
J: I think that's just called skunkiness. It's probably been exposed to light, or been around for a long time.
M: What is this mark on the bottle? I'm going to ask the guy. [...] He thinks it's the date it was brewed.
J: Maybe the 7th of August? The 8th of September? September 2007?
M: Thing is, I kind of like it. I could see getting really drunk to this beer.
J: I think this beer is terrible.
W: I agree.
M: I agree, but I like it. I like it better than Pabst.
W: No. Pabst is better.

2/1000: Coopers Vintage Ale of Australia

Descriptors:

• Citrusy smell
• Sweet
• Fruity chocolaty
• Malty

Mike: It says it will mature if it is stored in "cellar conditions." They should use an actual cellar. This implies that they keep it in some sort of modern facility that meets this requirement. It has a fancy label, they should be fancy all the way.
Willow: Bleh.
Mike: I would drink this beer again. It is a fancy beer that I would serve to show off.
Josh: I'm liking drinking it, but I don't see why I would get it again.
Mike: The packaging? The packaging is great. It's a very handsome label with gold and foil.
Josh: I would rather get a fancy bottle, if I'm going for packaging. One with the rubber resealable top, or the cool English-style oval bottles that look like medicine.
Mike: Maybe I just like worse beer than you. Write that down.
Willow: I think it is too sweet.

3/1000: Terminal Gravity IPA of Enterprise, Oregon

Willow: It smells rotten.
Mike: It smells like a Portland beer!
Willow: It tastes a little soapy to me. I'm getting a soapy aftertaste.
Josh: People love this beer. It's well-renowned.
Mike: It does this thing that other IPAs do where in the back sides of your mouth it tastes bad after a while... What is that?
Josh: It's definitely a sipping beer. I think I like its smell more than its taste. Maybe it would taste better colder?
Mike: I think this beer tastes cold. It has a ... cold flavor? I don't know what that means.
Mike: I wouldn't get this again. I'm mildly ashamed of that. I can detect that it is a "good beer," but I wouldn't get it again.
Willow: I think it's the aftertaste.

997 to go!